Dunlop

‘Twas the night after Christmas and with a shudder I felt
My belly flop over, bypassing the belt.

It’s called Dunlop (as in, my belly has “done lopped” over my belt), and although you may not have heard the term, there’s a chance you have experienced it.

My Marine nephew-in-law taught me the word as we were digging through chocolate-covered Macadamia nuts. Or maybe it was over French Toast, or while searching the refrigerator for leftovers.

Tales of Christmas get togethers usually end with the big Christmas dinner – you never hear about the day after Christmas. If Clement Clarke Moore had added a couple of pages to “The Night Before Christmas“, he surely would have added a Dunlop passage because we already know Santa has it.

“He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf…”

By tradition, the “I have to lose some weight” conversations begin right after the last piece of pumpkin pie is gone. And in the military, overindulgers nervously begin to count the days until the next body fat measurement.

At last count, Amazon lists 590 products to help you slim down. If you Google “weight loss”, you will have approximately 131 million articles to inspire you.

If you ask me, it’s best to simplify the issue into two options.

Option 1: Developed by Berkeley Breathed, one of the world’s foremost cartoonists. Twenty years ago he developed an exciting new technique described by his character Milo as: “eat less, and exercise.”

or,

Option 2: Buy bigger pants.