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  1. Hey turkey ,please tell me your not not part of the troop surge. Well it’s a long story, the recruiter told me I could be in the band because I have DRUMSTICKS!

  2. This is surely one hell of an improvement compared to C-rations and MRE’s. I can’t wait to see what they’ll do for Christmas and Easter!

  3. Private Butterball reporting as ordered Sir!
    I hear you volunteered to be in the turkey shoot, “No way sir, volun-told!”

  4. Please tell me you’re a vegetarian!
    Don’t worry, this is my third tour and I haven’t seen a turkey hurt yet—–just tell them you’re the new turkey in charge.

  5. Those sailors back on the ship told me they were sending over “Wild Turkey”—–No offense but I thought you were going to be in a bottle.

  6. CORRECTION:
    The sailors back on the ship told me that they were sending over some “Wild Turkey”, No offense but I thought you were going to be in a bottle.

  7. I know that the recuiters are having a hard time finding new recruits, now they have gone from sending ill-prepared marines to sending me real turkeys.

  8. This is the M-16 Assault Rifle, the preffered weapon of the Marine Corps, and it makes a distinctive sound when fired at you,so get used to it.

  9. SSGT Smith pondered, how did a turkey get assigned to his foxhole? When He knows that turkeys only go assigned to headquarters.

  10. correction
    SSGT Smith pondered, how did a turkey get assigned to his foxhole? When He knows that turkeys only get assigned to headquarters.

  11. Wow, so you’re saying that it’s really called a “Turkey Hole”, AND we just elected our first African American President!? What do you take me for, you crazy Turkey?! Hey wait a minute; A TALKING TURKEY!!!

  12. In an effort to reduce the contract cost of meals for troops Iraq, the contractor decides to “cut out the middle man”.

  13. In an effort to reduce the contract cost of meals for troops in Iraq, the contractor decides to “cut out the middle man”.

  14. [TURKEY]Hey sergeant, we have been out here too long in this heat. I don’t like that gleam in your eye and the way you’ve been staring at me.

    [MARINE]Didn’t you tell me that you grew up on a farm and that you use to be stationed in Turkey?

  15. No words; just them two staring at each other while the theme song of “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly” plays on the background.

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