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  1. (on the 1mc) This is the captain speaking, Playboys Miss March has just arrived and will be meeting the crew on the mess decks.

  2. (1MC:Secure from Class Alpha fire drill; restow all gear) We put it all away last time….it’s your turn DC1!

  3. It is just a paper trash can fire, calm down and let your training take over!
    What do you think we are doing?

  4. Con to DC…….
    Con to DC…….
    Report DC.
    Stand fast. All personnel stand fast…..
    It was reported to Con that it was only a Fart….Stand down from general quarters.
    All conditions normal….ok. Let’s surface for a breath of fresh air…..

  5. Con to DC Control…….
    Con to DC Control…….
    Report DC Control…….Report…..
    Sir…DC Control..… I report that it was just a Fart……
    Con to all personnel. Stand fast. All personnel stand fast…..
    All departments report any damage…..
    COB: Emergency Blow, Let’s surface for a breath of fresh air…..
    All personnel stand down from general quarters.
    All conditions normal….
    I guess it was just a Tuesday; thank god it wasn’t a Saturday….

  6. Unfortunately for the rest of the team, the masks were not designed to filter out Jensen’s toxic burrito he had for lunch.

  7. I’ve gotta muster for watch,
    I’ve gotta go to mando-P.T.,
    I’ve gotta make sure they make it there on time!

  8. Sent via email Mar 31st at 8:18 pm by Christopher Ragsdale:

    “The Class Bravo fire appears to be out but there now have a report of a toxic gas leak coming from the nozzleman!”

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