The Matrix



This may sound paranoid, but I think we may be in the Matrix.

In the Matrix movie/book, life as we know it is just one big computer simulation. The human race has been relegated to living in pods full of jello, hooked up to wires and tubes – the bodies provide energy for the machines, and the machines return the favor by simulating life through computer-generated dreams. I don’t know for sure if I’m living in a pod or not, but things are starting to look a little suspicious.

I do know that I’m connected to something, what with laptops, cell phones, iPods, Face Book, Twitter, My Space, TogetherWeServed, LinkedIn, Instant Messaging, Text Messaging…to name a few.

Even people in the military serving in remote locations have access to Internet Relay Chat, Voice over IP, and video teleconferencing. The only thing they can’t get is video from sites like YouTube, but only because the powers that be won’t allow it.

So we’re all connected, just like in the Matrix. But to what?

Doesn’t it bother you that “the internet” is a placeless, faceless entity where all information is stored and disseminated? Who exactly IS “the internet”? If I were to write a letter to “the internet”, what address would I use?

Come to think of it, after a few hours of browsing, I do feel a little drained…

Are we in the Matrix, and our lives just computer-induced dreams? Is our life force being used to power the massive machines that run the world?

I’d be inclined to say yes, and start searching for a big socket wrench to remove the hose from the back of my skull right now, except for one thing.

If our lives were made-up dreams to lull us into a peaceful pod-life, shouldn’t things go a little smoother? Where do life’s challenges fit into the idealized sim-world the computers created for us? If the world were machine-perfect, why would there be a need for such things as body fat measurements, or report chits? If we really were in the Matrix we certainly wouldn’t be sweating Power Point presentations in front of the Commodore, or having to fix a leak in the CHT system (Navy lingo for sewage). No supercomputer worth its salt would come up with dreams where you had to stand a midwatch. Or pay taxes.

My team should win the Super Bowl every year. But they don’t even make the playoffs.

If we ARE all hooked up to a bank of computers somewhere, then whatever machine is running my program needs some serious software upgrades. I think mine is still running DOS.

My only recourse is to submit a trouble report and hope I can get upgraded. I think I’ll write a letter to “the internet” and see what they can do.

All I need is an address.


About Author

1 Comment

  1. Jeff,

    Too funny!

    I have been working with the concept since DARPA came up with the plan many years ago. Now it is THE INTERNET instead of a mixture of communications nodes that required a Teletype machine to communicate.

    “My only recourse is to submit a trouble report and hope I can get upgraded. I think I’ll write a letter to “the internet” and see what they can do.

    All I need is an address.”

    Today that would be SPAM since your request would go to every stink’in address in the world. Heh.

    BTW, we are all hooked up to glorified Routers which are really not normal computers since they are only translators and look up engines with not much more functionality.

    As usual, I enjoy your humor and art.


Leave A Reply