I have some ideas

2

I know no one will read this because everyone will be watching the election results.

Fine.

It’s too bad, because I have some ideas that the people in Washington should hear.

1. Forget health care for everyone. I say lawn care for everyone. And all year too, because right now there’s a pile of leaves as big as Mt. Kilimanjaro in my back yard and I don’t want to bag it.

2. Mandate that tax deductions be directly related to the size of your love handles. If that law passes, the IRS would owe ME money.

3. Make Richard Simmons the Secretary of State. He’s upbeat, his enthusiasm is contagious, and let’s face it – a lot of those heads of state could use a little “Sweatin’ to the Oldies”, if you know what I mean.

4. Military service = free steaks. Always. Anywhere. Maybe beer too.

5. “Hanging chads” should be removed from the vernacular. My buddy Chad Carpenter (Tundra cartoonist) really gets uncomfortable this time of year.

6. You know how, in the military, all parking signs and pictures of the old Commanding Officer are removed as soon as the Change of Command happens? It should be that way with political signs right after the polls close.

7. There should be a limit on how many times an adult has to watch a video with purple dinosaurs in it. (This is more of a local issue, but all politics is local, like they say.)

8. Anyone who prevents military ballots from counting in this or any other election should be immediately enlisted and shipped off to the front lines in Afghanistan. Maybe then they’ll understand.

Come to think of it, scratch 1 through 7. I’ll just stick with number eight.

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