Valentine’s Day pointers

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“Common sense ain’t common.” (Will Rogers)

I’m no genius – maybe about average in intelligence. But if I am in the middle brain-wise, that means half the world is dumber than me.

If you are in that group, here are some common sense ways to stay out of trouble on Valentine’s Day.

1. Going on vacation on Valentine’s Day to a romantic spot with your lover is a good idea. Going “with the boys” is not.
2. Giving chocolate candies is good. Saying, “You’re having ANOTHER ONE?” after your sweetie has a couple of pieces is bad.
3. A little wine is good. A lot of tequila usually isn’t.
4. As I have said before, do NOT re-gift valentine’s cards.
5. Do not do anything that remotely resembles this:

6. Do not ask someone out on a date, then try to “go dutch.”
7. Do not try to re-create a romantic movie scene. You do not look like a movie star. And you can’t act.
8. Speaking of the movies, avoid wearing any outfit that involves a cape and mask to woo your better half. Especially the guys. Especially if it also includes tights.
9. Oo-rah, Hoo-yah, and Hoo-ah are not – repeat – NOT mating calls.
10. No matter how much you pay, no matter how desperate you are, overnight delivery means overnight delivery. Not “this afternoon delivery.”

And if you are reading this and it is 2300 on February 14 and you just realized what day it is, never mind. I can’t help you.

For everyone else, have a great Valentine’s Day!

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