Officially, summer begins on June 20, which sounds like a long time off but believe me – it is just around the corner.
Why is this important? In summertime, the chance of being seen without a shirt goes from “never happen” to “mathematically possible.” This concerns me, because I am not ready.
Sure, I hit the gym. I have mastered the ability to appear as if I am on a structured, personalized weight training regimen without actually touching any of the equipment. I left no pain, no gain behind me when I retired, leaving me with a conundrum.
To look good without a shirt on requires (a) eating less and (b) exercising, neither of which I am very good at.
So as the calendar races through the days, I have to face the realities that confront me. At some point I will be at a beach and will be expected to strip down to what used to be considered undergarments.
I may have to get in a hot tub, not only risking infection by being immersed in a steamy culture of shared bathtub water, but also wallowing in the humiliation of others seeing – up close – what my body looks like without fabric on it.
The die is cast. It is workout season now. I will have to push myself harder than before to sculpt my body into what I want it to be before summer hits in full force. Starting tomorrow.
Maybe the day after.
