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  1. LT Hayes realized he had two equally hazardous choices. Either bunk with the “locals” or send the gift electric blanket back to his mother-in-law.

  2. Sent via email by LCDR Andrew Moore:

    After 35 years Master Guns decides that he’s finally seen the three signs of the apocalypse and retires.

  3. If red touches yellow, you’re a dead fellow.
    If red touches black, you’re okay, Jack.
    Unless there’s a scorpion and a poisonous spider next to said milk snake. Then you’re still screwed.

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