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  1. (While the Sub Commander takes advantage of no wife and lots of sun, his watch party detects a disturbance…) Sir! I see a woman by your car with a baseball bat and she’s… Oh, SNAP…SIR! I THINK YOUR WIFE…ERR…YOU’D BETTER COME TAKE A LOOK SIR!

  2. The last words the SUPPO heard while sunbathing on the conning tower were, Sir, we’ve just cleared the breakwater, request permission to dive.

  3. Despite the popularity of steel beach picnics with the surface fleet, they never caught on with the sub fleet

  4. “let me know if you guys see the skipper coming. I told him I had work to do to avoid that round of golf”

  5. As the disabled and adrift submarine crew patiently awaited a tow, they contemplated the poor decision to install Windows Vista. But with even greater confusion…who agreed to the embedded Microsoft contractor?

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