What’s the caption? Send us your ideas by midnight Tuesday – the winner gets the artwork and free stuff from Military Times!
Caption Contest – Dec 18, 2008
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What’s the caption? Send us your ideas by midnight Tuesday – the winner gets the artwork and free stuff from Military Times!
64 Comments
Hey Schmalz…do our hazmat regs say anything about “lumps of coal”?
Hey, get the the master- at- arms up here with the camera and the breathalyzer, this one is gonna be good!
[SANTA] Good evening sir, Santa Claus requesting permission to come aboard?
[OOD] Okay, I see you have your “PIER PASS†but what about the “NO SHAVE CHIT�
Hey, Petty Officer of the watch, it looks like your Christmas wish came true, Santa’s here to relieve you!!
Look…..here is my pilot license; I have been called back to ACTIVE DUTY!
DING DING, DING DING,…..SANTA…. ARRIVING!!!!
[OFFICER]
HEY LOOK…IT REALLY, REALLY WORKED!
[SANTA]
I just got this email asking for one heater and two pairs of ear muffs, Merry Christmas SUPPO!!!
Go find the Command Duty Officer, I don’t think this one is covered in the S.O.P.!
Hey Murph….. don’t all visitors have to have two forms of picture I.D.?
[SANTA]
Can you call this number for me? My sled broke down and my cell phone has no signal.
Check the visitor log and hand me that life ring…..we might just have a MAN OVERBOARD in a minute!
Hey, pass the word on the 1MC again that the quarterdeck is secured to all hands. Sorry Santa, you’re gonna have to use the ships smokestacks this year!
Hold on, I’ve got this one. Santa the quarterdeck is secured during cleaning stations…you’re gonna have to use the ships smokestacks this year!
The economy must really be bad if Santa has to work a second job!
Santa’s sleigh got REPO’d and we’re helping him with his deliveries this year.
Bet you didn’t know Santa is a Reservist in his off time!
[SANTA]
Here is my card, I am here to pick up the “Toy for Tots”.
[OFFICER]
Petty Officer, have all the Marines muster on the quarterdeck for Santa’s working party and get a few sailors up here to supervise!
CORRECTION:
[SANTA]
Here is my card, I am here to pick up the “Toy’s for Tots†sir.
[OFFICER]
Petty Officer, have ALL the Marines muster on the quarterdeck for Santa’s working party and get me a FEW sailors to supervise!
“Hey, Petty Officer Jones. His name really is Kris Kringle!!”
OOD: Petty officer Smith, If I told you once I told you a 1000 time I don’t care if Santa himself wants access, no one gets on board that isn’t in the proper uniform of the day.
Alright buddy who do you think you are Santa Claus?
I don’t care of you are Santa, you are not allow aboard without a thorough search of your bag.
Petty officer Smith get the doctor, I’m seeing things.
OOD; Petty Officer of the watch, Through this sailor into the brig until he sobers up.
OOD: Petty officer Smith look at his ID. Name Kris Kringle, address North Pole, so why is he trying to pass himself off as Santa Claus.
Santa: Due to manning shortages, I have been order to report for duty. OOD: Petty Officer Smith call the CAG on the 1MC. He has to see this.
Sir I am here to relieve the watch and decided to dress up like Santa.
[OFFICER]
Well let’s pretend I’m the GRINCH that stole christmas…..give me that bag of presents and go change into your uniform!!
The Ensign, still young enough to believe in Santa, was at a loss for words.
Christmas POLICE, I need to see the C.O., your ship is in voilation for not displaying christmas lights!
Hey wakeup, is that the new Security Officer?
I have been working undercover on shore patrol; here is the naughty & nice list and a bag full of contraband.
OOD: Petty Officer Smith, I know that there is a change to the working uniform, but I thought that it was gray and blue, not red and white.
Hey heard some of the guys had to go on I.A. duty with the Army……. but no one mentioned the Salvation Army!
These pirates from the Horn of Africa will try anything to get onboard…..last duty day we caught one dressed up like Frosty the snowman!
The last watch let me park on the flightdeck..you knwo how it is, someetimes it is just easier to walk.
K.B.R.? Is there anything you guys don’t have under contract?
OOD: Petty Officer Smith, So OK he is Santa, but you know that Captain will blow a gasket when he see what the raindeer left on the flight deck. And I am not doing a FOD walk down anytime soon.
OOD: If your Santa Claus, he’s the Easter Bunny.
OOD: Petty Officer Smith, get the Master At Arms, this sailor’s no shave chit expired in 1972.
OOD: Petty Officer Smith, you get to explain to the Captain that he was on the naughty list this year.
See what happens when you fall asleep on watch, good thing it’s the 24th
No ..really, it’s me Petty Officer Claus, I had a Long night, Just let me get to bed!
OOD: “Petty Officer of the Watch, you are not, repeat NOT to mention this to anyone!”
OOD: “Petty of the Watch, how do we enter this in the Deck Log?”
OOD: “Hey Petty Officer of the Watch, didn’t the CDO say something about the SEALs doing some sort of physical security penetration exercise?”
Upgrading his 1914 sleigh to the new DDG 1000 was the best decision Santa ever made. Although there were some setbacks…
SUPPO Clause arrives at his new station.
Just off from Boot Camp, SN Jones arrives wearing the newly issued winter NWU. They say the colors blend well with the ship life rings…
“I tell ya, Ensign, havin’ the midwatch on Christmas Eve is as much fun as watchin’ paint dry!”
OOD: Petty Officer Smith call the Marine detachment, Santa needs a working party to help with the toys.
Tell the Captain the INSERV board has arrived early – with “gifts”
OOD: Petty Officer Smith, this guy looks suspicious, search his bag for contraband.
OOD: Petty Officer Smith does that look like a regulation seabag to you.
CORRECTION:
I don’t care If you are Santa, you are not allow aboard without a thorough search of your bag.
OOD: Petty Officer Smith, why are you on Santa’s naughty list.
OOD: Petty Officer Smith, I see that the Captain’s naughty list isn’t the only one that you are on.
Petty Officer of the watch, they never told me at OCS to expect this during inport security drills!!! What is going on here?
Tap…Tap, Petty officer Smith your awake right. Pinch me, I think Im in a bad dream. Santa just showed me the naughty list and Im on it.
POOW, unless this guy shows me more than his American Express card, your going to have to escort him.
Hey Petty Officer, I am going to need you to witness this. RISE YOUR RIGHT HAND REPEAT AFTER ME…..”I Santa Claus, do solemnly swear………..”
Can you show me which berthing these guys live in? Last year I got lost in the engine room and they had to send a search party to find me!
I might be a junior Ensign, but I know Santa when I see Him!!!
Merry Christmas, here is that special request chit for your PCS move!
Have you every been to the North Pole?
Go get the camera, I’m getting my picture taken with Sata.
Petty Officer Murphy get your hands out of your pockets and pop tall; Santa is here for his scheduled tour!