We have been having a little trouble with our almost-two-year-old. She has begun to talk.

Mostly, it is alien language. A few English words get thrown in every once in awhile, but most of the dialogue is Klingon, I think.

Unfortunately, one of the real words she uses can’t be repeated here. I know what she is TRYING to say, but it comes out #&%@$ (rough translation). She likes to say this word in public, compelling my wife and I to proclaim the REAL word loudly and often, and for all to hear.

I was bemoaning this experience to my brothers over Thanksgiving, and have found that this phenomena is not unique in the Bacon family. It is in our blood.

While visiting us during the commissioning of the mighty USS GEORGE WASHINGTON (CVN 73) a few years ago, my brother’s son (he was about two years old at the time) heard a siren in the distance. He looked up and loudly identified the source: “Fire truck!”

Only it didn’t come out that way. We laughed, which encouraged him to repeat the phrase over and over. We all thought it was funny, except for his father.

A few years later one of my other brothers and his wife were shopping with their son, who tended to add the letter “F” to various words. No matter how hard they tried, they could not correct the habit, so when our nephew wanted a drink, he said, “Frink.”

“Drink,” they said.






Exasperated, my sister-in-law said in a loud voice:

“THERE’S NO F’in DRINK!” (This was precisely at the same time that the noise level at the store had hit a lull.)

So it’s a Bacon thing.

I guess we’ll just let our daughter stick with alien language for awhile. At least no one can tell if she’s cursing.


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  1. That’s funny. Very well written post, BZ. We had similar issues with our kids. They were always excited to see fire trucks, but they couldn’t pronounce the “tr” sound and instead replaced the “tr” with the “f” sound.

  2. Our son spoke Tribble with a hint of a Tholian accent. Now he speaks geek speak, which makes it hard on me, but luckily DH speaks it, so all’s good.

    Hang in there. Soon she’ll speak the language of the teenage girl. There is NO dictionary or cliff notes for that one. The language mutates ever so slightly every year rendering the the parental units confused and frustrated. Their percieved knowledge of their version of the tongue, useless,.
    Good luck with that.

  3. Hi CAPT!

    My story is about me (JillZ), My Grandfather was a butcher, so our family use to joke and say my Dad (who is also a retired Sr. Chief) was a Son of a Butcher. So at the young age of 4, I introduced my Dad at kindergarten as this is my Dad! He is a Son of a B_itcher, substitue the ‘U’ for an ‘I’. Sadly this was back in the days when spankings were the rule. I figured that I should not introduce my Dad, he didn’t like that…
    Have a Happy Holiday and a Wonderful new year from Rick (Zman) and Jill

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