I’m not ready for the end of the world


Where has the year gone? The world is supposed to end in three days and I’m not ready.

It’s not all my fault. I mean, who in their right mind would schedule the end of the world just four days before Christmas? It’s pretty tough to prepare for the zombie apocalypse when you still have presents to buy. Not to mention the traffic. How am I supposed to evacuate to the hills with all the last minute shoppers on the road?

Bad planning, Mayans. Bad, bad planning.

We were supposed to check off most of the things off our bucket list by doomsday, right? The things I can check off would fit into a tea cup.

I never climbed Mount Everest. Or Kilimanjaro. Or any other mountain, for that matter.

Bad knee.

I never got to fly with the Blue Angels, but that’s OK because I probably would have puked anyhow.

I should have bought a new car on credit, with the first payment due on December 22.

I should have eaten more pizza, since cholesterol isn’t going to kill me any more.

I should have done a lot of things.

But I can’t help but wonder if the whole December 21st thing isn’t just a big mistake. Maybe their Secretary of Doom forgot to carry a number, or rounded up. Maybe he ran out of beans on his abacus. Maybe he was just lazy and pulled a date out of thin air.

What then?

Hey, we’ll have our lives back! There is still time to complete our bucket lists! We can finish our Christmas shopping!

And there’s still time to return that big screen TV I bought on credit.


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