1LT Dike

I love history. Unfortunately, I do not have a good memory. Those born with the ability to remember things like dates and names and such are called history buffs, or history experts. I am more of a history fan.

The nice thing, though, about having a poor memory is that I can watch a good military history movie and enjoy it over and over again as if it were the first time.

It’s that way with Band of Brothers. I like the series so much it has made its way into Greenside a couple of times.

Once at Christmas in 2008…

and once just last week.

It would be an interesting exercise to figure out which of the characters in Band of Brothers each of us would be. Who would the director select as the best fit for each role?

Like everyone, I would want to be Major Dick Winters, the cool, efficient officer who earned the unanimous respect of his men; or 2LT Carwood Lipton, the quiet, hard-working and beloved non-com who bore the weight of leadership without complaint.

But there is a good chance I would be cast as one of the incompetent officers who flitted in and out of Easy Company’s ranks.

(Director): “I need a guy who melts down at the first sign of trouble. You! The guy sipping on a latte. You are my 1LT Dike.”

I don’t want to be 1LT Dike.

Lieutenant Dike was rarely around when his troops needed him, was aloof and detached when he WAS around, and when he was finally corralled to lead his men in combat, he failed.

That is who I would be. That is the guy the director would cast me to play. I would be so good at the role that the audience would despise me, just like they despise 1LT Dike. It would be such a good match that I would never be able to shake the typecast. I would be the Leonard Nimoy of war movies, except unlike 1LT Dike, at least Spock was competent. To this day, when Mr. Nimoy walks into a room, everyone still wants to get a picture taken with him.

I would be the guy everyone avoids, either because (a) they loathe me, or (b) they are afraid of getting typecast by proximity. Any hope of becoming a Big Star would fade away, because no one would ever believe 1LT Dike could be a hero, or President, or whatever. I would be doomed to an ever dwindling number of bit parts until the offers stopped coming in. My agent would drop me. My friends would disappear. Eventually, in order to pay the bills I would have to take a job as a counter clerk at a third rate fast food joint, hating my life and cursing the day I ever agreed to be in a war movie.

I hate history.